24 Hours Before My Walk Across America

QOTW

"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."— Confucius

So here we are. Less than 24 hours before I begin my walk across America.

Lots of feelings coming up.

I’m tired of having the same convos with people about planning—I just want to get started.

It’s taught me how much people live predominantly from a position of fear.

Most of the questions or responses I get come from a place of what could go wrong.

Have you thought about this? That? The other?

Are you bringing a weapon?

Where are you gonna sleep?

Is anyone going to support you?

People say it’s because they care about me.

But that’s not really what it is.

It’s a projection of their own fears.

It’s a mirror—because it’s not about what they say, but how they’re saying it.

And I can feel it.

Few people have been able to look me in the eyes, connect with me, and really hear me when I share why I’m doing this.

On my final 11-mile training walk yesterday along Hwy 101 in Carlsbad, I made a point to say good morning to everyone I passed (okay, almost everyone).

I looked them in the eyes, smiled, and said “Mornin!” with care.

Fewer than 25% said good morning back.

Half shot a quick smile.

The rest acted like I was imposing torture on them.

It was a lesson in how disconnected people are in this part of the world.

So consumed with their material world, yet disconnected from themselves.

I feel for them because I was there not too long ago.

I feel sad because I can feel their pain.

I know how deeply people want to be connected with others.

At our core, we don’t want to obsess over our external image.

We don’t want to close ourselves off.

We don’t want to have boring surface-level conversations.

We want to look someone in the eye and feel them say:

“I fucking SEE you.”

But it’s easy to pit ourselves against one another.

Race.
Education.
Economic status.
Religion.
Politics.

So many ways we drive wedges between us and our brothers and sisters.

It’s so easy to forget that at our deepest core, we are the same.

We are one. We’re in this together.

But we have a hard time remembering that.

We’re more isolated than ever.

We compare ourselves to others more than ever.

We try to make ourselves feel better by putting others down.

Or by finding some sort of "enemy" just to boost ourselves up.

We put others down so they can feel the pain we feel.

Subconsciously, it feels like it gives us power.

But it’s hurting everyone involved—especially us.

It’s the old idea that anger is like a hot stone…

The longer you hold it, the more it burns you.

So when people ask me if I’m nervous about this trip or if I’m carrying a weapon, I empathize with where they’re coming from.

They view others as separate and different from them.

But I refuse to hold those beliefs on this walk.

We don’t heal ourselves that way.

We heal by seeing ourselves in others and others in ourselves.

The more we can truly empathize with others—exactly as they are, without judgment— the more we can give compassion and understanding to ourselves.

I love thinking about how I want others to feel after interacting with me.

It forces me to go beyond my mind and thoughts…

And drop deeper into the essence of who I am. My unique expression of my soul.

I used to want people to think I was tough.

To be afraid to mess with me.
To see me as mysterious.
To think I was smart.
To believe I knew what they were thinking.

It was exhausting because it wasn’t the real me. It was all an act.

A mask I was wearing because I was letting my insecurities run the show.

Now, I’m clearer on how I want others to feel around me:

To feel seen, heard, and understood.
To feel like someone finally gets them.
To feel safe to come out of hiding.

Like they can be the truest expression of themselves.

Like they can say or believe anything—without being judged.

To feel connected.

Why all this?

Because these are the things I craved most (and still do).

This is what I wanted at the deepest depths of my soul, but I didn’t know it.

And once I knew it, I didn’t know how to get it.

It’s taught me that we all want this…

Even when our actions make it seem like we don’t.

So this walk isn’t just about self-discovery.

It’s about building bridges.

Allowing men of all backgrounds to feel like someone gets them.

To feel like they are OKAY exactly where they are.

To not feel broken, wrong, or unworthy.

I know I won’t be able to do it 100% of the time.

Frankly, I’m not sure I’ll hit 50%.

But it’s clear this is my path.

Not a path of fear.

🖤