Escape Feeling Stuck: Create Your Breakthrough

🗣️ Quote of the Week:

"Your body is a precious gift from existence. Treat it with love and care, and it will facilitate your growth." - Sadhguru

In this week’s dose, I dive into the challenge I hear most often from men: feeling stuck.

(And I share the framework I use to help my clients get through it.)

Many of the men I work with experience feelings like:

• Being stuck
• Lacking purpose
• Struggling with stress
• Difficulty in making habits stick
• Feeling like they're not doing enough

There’s a deep calling to get more from life than what modern living promises them.

Like they sense something real is missing.

And it often feels like a constant “hum” of a revving engine in the background of their life. One they can’t seem to turn off.

Part of them wants to quiet the noise, but another part is scared to release & let go of it.

This humming begins to feel normal and comfortable.

Because it feels like the driver of their ambition to achieve more.

That if they allow themselves to truly relax, they’ll fall behind, become complacent, or take their foot off the gas and lose their chance at success.

And success feels important because it represents finally feeling at peace and OKAY with themselves.

So it’s incredible hard to let go of the thing that we believe is driving us toward success.

Luckily, this isn’t what happens.

It’s a survival tactic by the mind to keep you on hyper-alert mode. Always looking for stressors, envisioning what could go wrong.

Filling you with worry & stress.

It could be a fear of…

→ losing all your money
→ losing your job
→ being criticized by others
→ not being as successful as your neighbor
→ not getting the recognition you deserve/want

Or so many others.

But what’s the cost of living with all that fear? What are you giving up by allowing that voice to be in the driver’s seat?

Here’s the rub:

I meet with guys who say they know what to do, but struggle to do it.

They feel a low level of self-confidence and -belief that true change is even possible for them.

A part of them is ready for change, but they aren’t 100% sure what it will take to get there.

Some are excited and ready for change, but this isn’t the case for everyone.

Many start to get nervous at the idea of change.

And when I share what it will take to create the transformation they want, their mind bings them back on high-alert mode.

This doesn’t happen consciously, but instead an innate fear of the “unknown” arises as their survival mind sends off warning signals.

The mind says things like, “Wait, if we do that, we have no clue what life will be like afterward! But we at least KNOW what we’re dealing with now. So don’t do it!”

And if you pay attention to your own decision-making process, you’ll notice this trend.

The fear of the unknown leaves you feeling uneasy & uncomfortable.

This creates just enough friction for you to stall → to not take action, to stay complacent, to remain where it feels safe.

This stall kills action.

But THIS is what your mind wants (It wants familiarity & comfort).

This is not what YOUR best Self wants.

So this is your battle → overcoming the part of you that holds you back from your potential.

So many guys I meet with are SOO f*cking close to bursting through this barrier, but friction wins and they do nothing.

They don’t take action because it’s scary & unknown.

Your growth is on the other side of pushing through this.

How do you beat this?

If you came to me looking for help, I’d help you understand where you’re at and highlight why your attempts to solve the problem on your own haven’t worked.

And I’d point out why some of the things you’ve done HAVE helped.

It’s important to get clarity on why things do or do not work.

I’d share that it’s not because you’re broken, but instead because you need a better gameplan.

One that gets to the ROOT cause of your friction - not one that simply gives you new actions to take.

Here’s what my gameplan looks like:

I’d have you start small with low-hanging fruit and build momentum with healthy habits without overwhelming your system - this is key.

We need to create a pattern interrupt, but we also need to play the long game. So I help you learn habit-building skills so you can do this for the rest of your life.

In this first stage, accountability & support are paramount. It’s critical to have someone to keep you on track and guide you through challenges as they arise (they will arise).

We’ll do the simple things that will get you feeling better physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Things like sleep hygiene, clean eating, cold exposure, meditation, breathwork, reducing screen-time, and journal techniques.

Once you build a little momentum, we start to explore your blockers - the things that prevent you from being who you want to be and living up to your potential.

Most guys think they only need to change what they’re doing to get results.

And that’s not incorrect, but it doesn’t tell the whole story.

Our actions are downstream.

What we know is that beliefs create thoughts, which generate feelings, which drive our actions.

So while it’s important to change our actions, if we don’t address what’s upstream, these actions (and our results) won’t stick.

And so the side effect is you feel like you aren’t disciplined, you lack willpower, you aren’t motivated, or think it “just doesn’t work for me”.

Remember, falling off track doesn’t happen randomly, you behave your way off track.

So we must look at what’s at the core of your behavior → what you think, believe, & feel.

We’ll explore the thinking that drives your behavior that create the results you want to change.

Our thoughts drive us into 1 of 2 states:

→ Survival thinking drives survival states
→ Powerful thinking drives powerful states

Powerful states include the 4 Cs (calm, creative, clear, confident)

These are THE fundamental states that drive the type of actions that will create the results we want.

Consider this…

When you’re stressing over work, snapping at your kids, not present with your partner, skipping the gym, eating like crap, drinking more than normal…

Are you operating from the 4Cs? No way.

This is what I mean when I talk about mental health.

Your capacity to be aware of your state and your ability to transform yourself into a higher state.

This is why we HAVE to take a multi-level approach → focus on what’s upstream (thoughts & beliefs) AND downstream (taking the right actions).

This multi-level approach is the most powerful way to retrain the mind to create the change we want most.

But here’s a little secret → it’s not about which thoughts you have, but which thoughts you believe.

So a fundamental lesson is learning that you are not the voice inside your head.

You are the one who is aware of it.

Once you understand the basics of how to create new results & change, you’ll learn simple mental frameworks to shift yourself into the 4Cs consistently.

This is the 4-step process we’d use to create powerful behavior and powerful results:

Build awareness → change your state → create a new story → take aligned action

And the fastest, most efficient way to do this is by getting your physical & mental health firing on all cylinders.

Think of your body as the vehicle driving this.

How you treat it will accelerate or slow your process.

So I’d have you eat well, sleep hard, exercise, avoid toxins, and learn to calm your mind so you can feel alert, present, and focused.

All so you can be your absolute best at work AND home.

Finally, a gameplan to deal with feeling stuck & stressed.

It doesn’t have to be hard or complicated.

Simple is best.