Staying Calm When Life Gets Tough

Read time: 3 mins

QOTW

“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer.” — Woody Allen

In this week’s dose, I share how to let go of overthinking, get out of survival mode, and tap into a more grounded, peaceful version of yourself.

Anytime I’m faced with a challenge or an obtrusive thought, I remind myself that I am an expression of the universe. That this physical form is one with nature, part of this planet. Yet, there’s a deeper part of me, beyond this body, this mind, this story.

A part that feels timeless and limitless.

It’s the space behind it all. Call it soul, spirit, consciousness, Self, awareness, God—whatever resonates with you. Don’t get caught up in the terminology because labels, too, are a product of the mind. They’re incapable of fully capturing it, only pointing us in its direction.

There’s a deep space within that’s aware of everything happening. If I’m aware of my story and I’m aware when my story changes, it tells me that I must not be my story.

I’m aware when I speak, when I think, when I move. And when I’m settled in this space of awareness, I’m not consumed or identified with thought. In this space, I feel a deep sense of effortless calm. Decisions are easier because knowing what to do simply comes to me.

It’s only when I get wrapped up in the ‘survival mind’ that my clarity drops and fear becomes the driver—even if subtly.

So, how can I be certain of this? In a way, I can’t 'know' it, because true knowing transcends the mind. It’s more of a feeling. Like when you hear something profound that resonates deeply, a truth that is undeniable yet difficult to express.

It feels more like a homecoming. A deep presence that’s accompanied by peace, calm, love, and a natural, invigorating energy. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I’m not living here 100% of the time, but cultivating this state is my daily practice.

It’s less about doing and more about letting go—building awareness around my stories, my problems, my struggles, and my desires. Through that awareness, I see them for what they are—illusions. Projections of the mind.

This doesn’t remove them, but it changes how I relate to them. Through that awareness, their influence dissolves. And in that dissolution process, I return to this homecoming.

Life is our greatest teacher because it shows us exactly where we’re still hung up on our story. Anywhere we still get upset is an opportunity to examine our narratives. The hard part is that life will never stop. We’ll constantly have things that come our way to challenge our ability to be at peace.

But the good part? With each challenge, our peace deepens… as long as we face it instead of running from it. It’s like the roots of a tree that deepen and spread with each storm, ensuring the tree can more easily handle the next one.

Moving Forward

The way to move forward is to practice not identifying with the mind. With the stories, the thoughts, the beliefs that the mind creates and clings to. It’s this identification that creates suffering.

It’s the attachment to thoughts, beliefs, and ideals that blinds us from seeing the truth within us. Our power to be present and at peace lies within our practice of dis-identifying with the mind.

So, how do we begin?

Simply start by noticing.

Notice your thoughts. Notice yourself noticing your thoughts. Are you judging your thoughts? Wondering if you’re doing it right? Thinking you’re a failure?

Notice all of that too.

Get yourself into a state of presence (as best you can) and see what comes up.

Go from there.