The Hidden Trap In Getting 1% Better

QOTW

"We do not grow because we are incomplete; we grow because it is in our nature to evolve." – Alan Watts

In this week's dose, I share how the obsession with getting 1% better, while well-meaning, is misguided.

It’s a necessary and useful step in development, but it’s not the end. Without a North Star or higher purpose to dedicate the improvement toward, it becomes an act that perpetuates the idea that we’re not enough as we are.

You can optimize every habit, dial in every system, stack wins every day, and still feel empty.

Because if you’re operating without knowing your why, self-improvement becomes another hamster wheel.

It’s a slippery way to trap ourselves in the model of always wanting more, but it’s masked with the altruistic filter of self-betterment.

Let me be clear, I think it’s imperative we work on ourselves. But what I see missing is a blatant lack of clarity with what or who that work is really for.

Hyper-fixation on growth, when done without a deeper purpose, reinforces the feeling that you’re not enough as you are and that you need to just improve a little more.

The paradox of self-improvement: Can we grow while feeling like we’re already enough?

Yes—but only if we shift where our awareness is rooted. If you see yourself only as a flawed human chasing improvement, forget it. But if you recognize yourself as something deeper—beyond time, beyond status, beyond achievement—then growth becomes an expression of who you already are, not a way to fix what you’re not.

It may not feel that way all the time, but what if that’s part of why we’re here?

When we practice seeing ourselves in that way, we start to view every other human that way. We see them as souls going down their own path. And we see that everyone is here dealing with their own recipe of pain and suffering.

That’s a powerful place to sit.

From there, we naturally begin to want to help others in any way we can. And we realize the only way we do that is by working on ourselves.

Self-improvement becomes a service to something bigger than us—not just for the sake of optimization.

If you don’t feel like you want to help others, that’s OK. I completely understand.

I’ve felt very selfish most of my life, and only in the last couple of years has that become clear to me. That everything I’ve done has been self-serving. Which has been such a lonely, small way to live.

So we are challenged to trust in something bigger than ourselves. Some intelligent glue that is holding the whole puzzle together.

Instead of asking "How can I get better?" we start to ask "Who am I becoming? Why does that matter? What does the world need from me? How can I better serve others?"

Fulfillment doesn’t come from acquiring more. It comes from ALIGNING your path and your growth with something bigger than you.

This is exactly how to move from self-improvement for self-improvement’s sake to living a life of deeper alignment.

When I start working with clients I share what the coming 12 months will look like.

The first phase is a reset. It’s about getting out of a survival state and back into a thriving state. All about getting back to the basics and removing the things getting in our way. Simplifying.

The second phase is about alignment. Once we’ve reset our nervous system and are feeling more energized, clear, & confident, we widen our gaze and start to explore the bigger picture. We look at what success has meant to us now, and what we’re choosing it to mean moving forward. We look at values and who we are committed to becoming.

The third phase is about execution and refinement. The unsexy part of growth - consistency, accountability, and discipline. You can’t escape doing the work if you’re truly committed.

The fourth phase is about leading others. Not because of your title, but because you realize that you don’t want to keep these “secrets” to yourself. You want others to experience the freedom and presence and growth you’ve felt. You want others to escape from the “matrix” of modern living and see the true freedom that is possible in this life.

At this point, you’ve learned to grow from a place of wholeness, not deficiency.

Seeds do not grow into trees because they are unworthy or not enough. The opposite is true. They grow and evolve because it’s nature unfolding - it’s the law of the universe. The seed itself is perfect as a seed. As it is when it turns into a tree. It’s not better or worse at any point, it just is.

So instead of asking "How can I improve?" ask, "How can I be more present in my growth?"

This shifts your focus from your lack to the nature of your very being.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get better.

But if the pursuit of "better" is keeping you from feeling enough—it’s time to shift your approach.

Becoming 1% more present is more powerful than becoming 1% better.

Because at the end of the day, it isn’t about how much you do—but how deeply you live.

Have you ever felt stuck in the self-improvement trap?