Find Clarity: Using Intention to Drive Your Journey
Feb 04, 2023Get intentional, set your direction
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Thought of the week:
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” — Buddha
In this week's dose, I share how to use intention to find the actions to create the life you want.
Denied a promotion, missed quota, pandemic hit, and fired all within a few months.
14 months prior, I was so burnt out after a toxic culture at Salesforce and a toxic boss at Revel during my second stint there.
I hated telling people that because it made me feel like I wasn't taking ownership of my situation.
But in hindsight, it's clear that our environment plays a huge role in our well-being...
Especially if we don't have the skills & tools to handle those situations - which I didn't at the time.
So after getting let go, I was at a crossroads.
In a weird way, it felt like I was given a clean slate.
I had to have uncomfortable conversations with myself to make decisions around:
- My relationship with money and what I really needed
- How I'd appear to others if I chose a different career path
- If I no longer pursued buying my first house in the Bay
- If I didn't go back to a high-paying sales job
- If I downgraded my apartment
I saw an opportunity to finally choose ME and the life I actually wanted.
To go ALL IN on creating that life because clearly the path I was on left me unfulfilled, unhealthy, & unhappy.
So I thought of the idea "Same actions = same results."
I needed new actions to create different results.
I began to think about what had to change in my life so I could become who I was capable of being.
Even though I had made the decision to finally start a business, I needed a cosmic shift to take place.
Here are questions I thought through that helped me get crystal clear.
What do I want?
Not in terms of material items, a house, or money.
Get clear on the TYPE of life I want to live.
How I spend my time, who I spend it with, how I feel on a day-to-day basis.
At first, I only knew it included beach time, exercise, and freedom to create my schedule.
And to somehow get involved in the health & wellness space.
What do I NOT want?
Anti-goals.
Get clear on the feelings & outcomes you absolutely do not want to happen.
Shitty health, broken relationships, married to your career, no time with family, vacations on cruise ships (okay, maybe that's just me 😂) etc.
Mine were...
To feel lonely
To care what others think
To be consumed by money
To rely on alcohol and drugs to socialize
To have someone ELSE dictate my calendar
To get frustrated when things don't go according to plan
To not be able to visit my best friends & family when I want
What’s the impact it’ll have?
How will becoming this person affect the lives of those around you?
How can you contribute to help them live their best life?
I focused on finding a way to bring a deep sense of meaning to my life.
One that goes way beyond quota attainment and stock options.
Improving the quality of lives of humans around me.
I believed better men create...
Better companies, better communities, better relationships, better families.
How does future-you think? What does future-you believe?
What's different about future-you compared to where you are now?
What does he believe about himself?
What does he know?
Has he learned how to discipline his mind?
To not feel stressed all the time?
To prioritize health & live clean?
To build strong relationships?
To keep his word to himself?
To lead with kindness?
To be more patient?
Get CLEAR here.
How can you take action to support that today?
Do you need to get in shape, remove social media from your phone, drink less, start an exercise program, wake up early, write, meditate, go for more walks?
My thoughts were so negative and full of self-doubt at that time, it was THE thing holding me back.
But I also knew I felt my best when I woke up early with a plan.
So I went into FULL attack mode.
Wake up at 5am, make bed, cold shower, learn to meditate, start journaling, and read to learn.
It was all designed to reprogram my mind to become the person I wanted to be.
I knew I had to change how I thought and what I believed about myself.
Think of this: what do you believe will move you in that direction?
What do you need to stop doing (be honest with yourself, you KNOW the answer)?
Late night TV, falling asleep on the couch, hitting snooze, phone in bed, scrolling social media, late night desserts, getting drunk, Amazon Priming things for the dopamine boost, afternoon coffee, shitty food, gossip, comparison, hanging out with friends who want different things...
Set action-based goals.
Actions you can do each day.
But not just random items to check off a list.
Actions directly aligned with helping you become the person you've declared you want to become.
e.g. Exercise 4 days/wk, wake up at 5am 7 days/wk, 9pm bedtime 7 days/wk, write for 60 mins/day.
I love focusing here to start because they get you in motion and the NEXT steps will reveal themselves naturally.
Set tenets to live by.
Think of them as a code by which you live.
Write them as if they are your reality.
Things like...
I choose courage over comfort.
I live with a whole heart instead of fear.
I am a role model & leader in my community.
I do the hard things when the hard things are the right things.
I choose kindness and serving others.
I am in perfect health and love the body I'm in.
I feel my best when I am learning, challenged, and growing.
Find what works best for you, write them down, put them somewhere you'll see them every day.
Set values that are your guiding light for decisions.
2-3 values is the perfect amount.
Any more and they lose significance.
2-3 things that guide how you want to live your life.
When you're faced with a tough decision, you look to your values to give you your answer.
ex. If your values are love + courage, you ask:
"Okay, what decision would I make if I was really living with love + courage?"
Don't phone these in, take time to figure out the person you aspire to be and 3 words they most live by.
--
Now you begin to have clarity.
And the ability to make decisions from a place of creation instead of scarcity.
Remember that our brain is a scared little guy.
It wants certainty, protection, and comfort.
It fears the unknown, taking a chance, and a change of identity.
It WILL be scary to create this shift of perspective because your mind feels a big change coming in WHO you are and WHAT you do.
That's 100% normal and to be expected.
Embrace it because it's going to take time to shut that voice up that wants to keep you comfy + safe.
And build an inner voice that is your biggest cheerleader.
Tim 🖤
👉 If you'd like help making this happen for you. Book a free 1:1 consultation.
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Whenever you're ready, here's how I can help: