Transforming the Negative Voice Inside Your Head

Transforming the negative voice inside your head

Read time: 3 mins

🚀 Next Men's Cohort 3/27

Built for men who are successful on paper, yet still feel unfulfilled, stressed out, overwhelmed, stuck, and lack the confidence they once had (though you have a tough time admitting it).

9 out of 10 guys I work with have never done anything like this before.

But 100% of them are tired of trying to go at it alone and not seeing any results.

Nick Rogers said, “I couldn't be happier with Tim and the program he's put together. 10/10 recommend to anyone feeling stuck and wants to turn their mindset and life around.”

We begin 3/27 → 5 spots left.

Ready to start? Book a call with me here.

🗣️ Quote of the Week:

"Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear." - George Addair

Time to embrace it, push through, and get started. 

In this week’s dose, I share 3 ways to quiet our inner critic to start living with more peace.

We’re each born with an inner voice.

One that seemingly has a life of its own.

It’s part of the human experience.

Science says humans have ~60,000 thoughts a day

And that about 75% of them are negative.

Before I started doing inner work, I’d say 90% of mine were pretty negative.

Why isn’t it producing 90% positive thoughts instead?

Why does every single guy I meet experience a similar level of negative self-talk, self-doubt, and imposter syndrome?

And some form of guilt, shame, or criticism for hearing those thoughts in the first place?

Why does the voice also tell us we’re the only ones who must be hearing it?

It’s like a villain has infiltrated our home base and by convincing us we’re the only ones, it prevents us from doing anything about it.

Clever, but not helpful.

So what’s the purpose of it?
And how can we shut it up?

First, let’s add objectivity to our negative voice within…

Every species on earth comes pre-wired with a survival mechanism.

It may look like claws, venom, teeth, wings, or camouflage.

For humans, it’s our mind - (commonly known as our ego).

Or, what I refer to as, our survival mind.

It’s job is to keep us alive.

To scan the terrain for threats and to activate our sympathetic nervous system response to fight or flee from the danger in front of us.

Why this matters:

First and foremost, it’s wired to survive - not to keep us in a state of peace & thriving.

And we’re grateful for this because without it we wouldn’t have made it this far as a species.

But here’s the problem...

It’s inherently flawed.

That’s right - by design, it’s flawed.

It’s like having your own personal security guard 24/7.

And when a security guard is in the cockpit, EVERYTHING is a threat.

But in the absence of physical dangers, our survival mind doesn’t rest…

It will begin to look for psychological dangers.

Let’s dive in:

Our survival mind is driven by fear, inadequacies, insecurities, and scarcity.

We’re all born with our own special recipe and combination of these, thus impacting our lives in different ways.

This part of us is always seeking to fill the feeling of “lack” IT creates.

Because it’s rooted in insecurity, it’s constantly seeking outside validation.

So it tries to make up for what IT thinks it’s missing.

This brings us back to the flaw….

Since it’s driven by inadequacy, nothing will ever be good enough → but it tries its hardest and convinces us that “a little more will suffice”.

Do you see the futility of this yet?

With allowing this part of us to remain in the cockpit?

What it looks like:

Never enough, perfectionism, hyper-achiever, inner critic.

Imposter syndrome, fear of judgment, people pleaser.

Constantly feeling like you have to win, earn, succeed, & DO MORE.

Feels like your engine is always revving/humming in the background (this is a KEY warning sign that burnout is looming, too).

It can feel like compression on your chest → like you're being squeezed tight.

The hardest part to grasp is that no matter what we do, this part of us will never be pleased.

It’s an insatiable pit.

This is the genesis behind the feeling of “No matter what I do or accomplish, it’s never enough. I never feel like I’M enough.”

Thriving can only happen when our system is at peace and not looking for threats.

We do this by quieting the survival mind over time and get back to our true nature that’s behind all of it.

3 ways to quiet your survival mind:

1. LSD breathing

Focus on long, slow, deep breaths.

Emphasize lengthening your exhales and breathing into the lower belly.

You can do this anywhere → while lying, seated, on a walk, working, grocery shopping, before a big meeting.

Concentrating on breathing (can count inhales and exhales) slows our minds and brings us to a single point of focus.

Don’t worry if you don’t do it perfectly, that’s not the point. You won’t be good when you first start - that’s OK and expected.

The point is to practice this over time and build the skill of self-regulation via breath.


2. “Mu” Meditation:

Inhale focusing on expanding the area below your belly button to push your breath into your seat/pelvic cavity.

Exhale making a “muuuuuuuuuuuu” sound.

Repeat for 15-20 mins for an incredible reset.


3. Journal & brain dump

Write every thought that comes to mind.

Don’t allow thoughts to remain as a dark cloud in your head.

It might feel scary or weird at first, but by writing things down, you remove the power they have over you.

Remember, the unexamined mind creates suffering.

Use your pen as a tool to examine the thoughts that are repeatedly causing you pain.

Helpful or not? Let me know.
I’d love to hear how it goes.

Tim 🖤

And whenever you're ready, here's how I can help: